Does life ever get better?

I feel for you. I am so sorry. What you are feeling and going through is normal and very common; I promise. At this point in your life, I would highly recommend not ever admitting or telling ANYONE you are gay - the only way to keep this kind of secret is to keep it to yourself ONLY. Do not put yourself through the BS of dating girls either. Tell your parents you have extremely high standards, and you feel that focusing on your education is the best thing that you could ever do for yourself - because, well it is. Go to high school, enjoy your girlfriends, try to keep an eye out for others like you (they are there), and focus on earning the best grades possible. Your grades could get you into a great college that is in a gay-friendly part of the country (how about UC Berkeley? San Francisco State? UCLA?). As a gay adult, it can be difficult, too, but I think things are getting better, especially in the cities. As for life in general, being a gay teenager is so hard, but you can get through it, and when you do LIFE WILL BE SO MUCH BETTER! All the best, and take care you!